Dedicated to Jake Andrew Rainwater who couldn't see this truly embarrassing and scarring act
I think my first wing night deserves a blog entry, especially since I am still feeling the repercussions. I'd like to say that after the delicious bourbon honey bbq wings I had, I went out and had a fun and productive night, however I thought I could brave an insanity wing...I have no idea what the composition and varieties of hot peppers/chili peppers constitute an 'insanity wing,' but i will say they have the ability to burn skin, lips, virtually all taste buds not to mention at least a day of awful, awful digestive experiences. I guess its safe to say the insanity wing burns from the moment it enters the body, to the moment it leaves it. Sorry for the crudeness, but let it be serve as a warning to those as naïve as I on the subject of wings.
I think it is safe to say I had one of the worst reactions to an insanity wing ever witnessed, every orifice on my face seemed to seep tears, nasal fluid and just general anguish. This is after two bites and a failed attempt to pick the meat off with my fingers. DO not touch the insanity wing with anything, fingers, lips, face as they will burn for hours after. If you wear contacts, sleep in them or wear glasses. I kid not, I spent most of my syllabus eve crying and shivering in the fetal position.
If you think you can handle the absolute pain that is an insanity wing or are as 'brave' as i thought i was here are a few tips:
Order a full glass of milk before the insanity wing.
Make sure there is a pitcher with lots of ice and water in it.
Smear that buffalo or ranch sauce on your lips, face and hands.
Do not drink coffee or eat caf food for 24 hours (nothing that will make you poop!)
Take a shower after and scrub your hands.
To the brave souls that ate 6 insanity wings each, i applaud you, but fear you might be missing some crucial stomach lining.
